Not A Post You Wanna Read

Before you insist to read on, i must warn you that it is sad news….. the reason for my recent disappearance online is that something has happened at home and to my dad.

He has been experiencing back pain for over a month and nobody actually thought it may be something serious as the elderly often experience abit of pain and aches here and there. Till the day where the pain got so extreme that my dad felt his legs turning numb and weak (dun even have the strength to stand at all) then we realized the gravity of it. He was admitted into the hospital at 6am and the rest of the events was like a whirlwind…..

Doctors found a tumour growing on his spine and it was compressing on his nerves causing the back pain and his legs to turn numb and losing feeling. An operation was urgently required to remove it to prevent further damage. It was also crucial to save his legs from paralysis. Dad lost alot of blood during operation and was kept in High Dependency Ward for observation. The biopsy of the tumour cells shows metastatic cancer presented. Primary source of cancer unknown cos all major organs are not infected.  

After further test they found a 2nd tumour in the oesophagus and that is the primary source of the metastatic cancer. So the actual diagnosis is that my dad has gotten cancer of the oseophagus.  We were devastated as the news came so suddenly and we do not know how to react. When the cancer has turned metastatic it is actually at the final stage. How are we to accept the fact that my dad will not be around in a few months time??? He has been all well and healthy and this is really a sudden blow to us especially mom. I dunno how or what to think except to stay strong so that my mom can lean on me for support.

I am truly sad but i know i have to accept reality. Fact is fact and nothing much can change anything. Something i realised from this situation is that perhaps in times like this you wish that someone may be able to offer some help or words of comfort but instead you receive nothing from this person and seems like he dun care enough. Of cos it is just my own thought. In my heart i already know the answer to who is the one who truly cares and loves me.  

Pain is not the word…..
Sad is not the word……
Just numb….. for now……..

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8 thoughts on “Not A Post You Wanna Read

  1. I feel sorry for you T_T. I don’t like this story I really feel upset about it. I will be praying for your father to get well soon………

  2. Hi Connie,

    I really hate to hear such stories and I can understand the pain. Personally, I’ve recently witnessed and experienced the loss of a loved one and that feeling still lingers in my mind and it sucks totally. One moment she’s healthy, and within two weeks, she’s disappeared from the face of the earth permanently.

    I know it’s easy for outsiders to say be strong and be positive, and I know everyone means well. But ultimately, only the person going through the situation know what it feels like and how difficult it is to remain positive.

    Still, always believe in miracles. And yes, as difficult as it might be, staying positive is still a must. I can see that you’re a strong girl so I’m sure you will be a pillar of support for your mum.

    I sincerely wish that your dad will recover. Even if the doctors have ruled out all possibilities, I believe miracles can happen and we’ve just got to believe it in our heart for it to take place.

    All the best Connie :)

  3. Hi Myo, Glenn and Calvin,
    Thanks for all your comments…. i guess this is a pretty stressful stage and i am going through lots to cope with the whole situation. Seems like if things are supposed to go their way, i can only make the best out of it. I do hope and pray for a miracle to happen…..

  4. Hi Connie,

    So sorry things turned out this way. Calvin said it well about outsiders not knowing how difficult it is for you now.

    But please don’t give up. Have read about final stage patients recovering after switching over to pure veg and fruits diet. Miracles do happen!
    :)
    Kai Wei

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