Before you insist to read on, i must warn you that it is sad news….. the reason for my recent disappearance online is that something has happened at home and to my dad.
He has been experiencing back pain for over a month and nobody actually thought it may be something serious as the elderly often experience a bit of pain and aches here and there. Till the day where the pain got so extreme that my dad felt his legs turning numb and weak (dun even have the strength to stand at all) then we realized the gravity of it. He was admitted into the hospital at 6am and the rest of the events was like a whirlwind…..
Doctors found a tumor growing on his spine and it was compressing on his nerves causing the back pain and his legs to turn numb and losing feeling. An operation was urgently required to remove it to prevent further damage. It was also crucial to save his legs from paralysis. Dad lost a lot of blood during operation and was kept in High Dependency Ward for observation. The biopsy of the tumor cells shows metastatic cancer presented. Primary source of cancer unknown cos all major organs are not infected.
After further test they found a 2nd tumor in the oesophagus and that is the primary source of the metastatic cancer. So the actual diagnosis is that my dad has gotten cancer of the oesophagus. We were devastated as the news came so suddenly and we do not know how to react. When the cancer has turned metastatic it is actually at the final stage. How are we to accept the fact that my dad will not be around in a few months time??? He has been all well and healthy and this is really a sudden blow to us especially mom. I dunno how or what to think except to stay strong so that my mom can lean on me for support.
I am truly sad but i know i have to accept reality. Fact is fact and nothing much can change anything. Something i realized from this situation is that perhaps in times like this you wish that someone may be able to offer some help or words of comfort but instead you receive nothing from this person and seems like he dun care enough. Of cos it is just my own thought. In my heart i already know the answer to who is the one who truly cares and loves me.
Pain is not the word…..
Sad is not the word……
Just numb….. for now……..